Women deserve most of the blame for faking their orgasms: Jana Hocking

A while ago I was woken up in the middle of the night by something pushing me from behind.

I was delighted to discover it was from a strict friend who had decided that the midnight hour would be the perfect time for some nice action during our sexy slumber party.

My initial irritation at waking up at an ungodly hour quickly subsided as I realized I was ready for it too.

So in came the sexy PJs (reserved exclusively for when I have a male visitor) and off we went.

That was all well and good, but the minutes were ticking by and I was conscious of the fact that I had to get up for work in a few hours and I wouldn’t mind a few extra zzz’s.

So I summoned my inner Meg Ryan in that scene from When Harry Met Sally (you know the one…) and gave the most orgasmic performance of my life.

Give the girl an Oscar because my friend thought I hit the big time.

The truth was I hadn’t. Not even close. But I needed to wrap things up, so I faked an orgasm.

And confession: I’ve done it more than once.

So recently, during a cheeky conversation with my girlfriends about how bad some men can be in bed and their tendency to leave us unsatisfied, I had a realization that may be a bit controversial – we’re to blame .

Yes, lady friends, we should hang our heads in shame because all this fakery is doing us and our husbands a disservice.

With recent studies showing that 70 percent of women have faked an orgasm, it’s time to put an end to it.

Let’s be honest, we’re not faking them for our own pleasure. We’re faking them because we don’t want to hurt the fragile male ego. Or just because we are bored. Or because it’s taking too long.

But what we’re really doing is making these men bad at sex—not better.

So what is the solution? Instead of faking it, we should give them positive directions.

Instead of letting them believe that their relentless hitting is impressing us, we need to – dare I say it – hold ourselves accountable and stop encouraging poor performance.

Maybe we try to clearly communicate what really makes us go gaga in the sack.

A simple suggestion like “let’s try this move” or “let’s slow down a bit” can turn a session of the month into an enjoyable good time for everyone.

And the thing is, anyone who’s ever experienced the powerful power of a vibrator will know that it’s actually pretty easy to climax, we just have to teach our men how to get us there.

Like little noisy constructions in our hands, we must lead men in the right direction.

Because let’s be honest, adding an orgasm is a bit like giving someone a Michelin star for microwaving frozen pizza – false praise that promotes mediocrity.

And here’s another plot twist for you. University of Florida psychology professor Laurie Mintz says it takes women four minutes to reach orgasm, so can we not say that the problem is that it takes us too long to get there?

Anyone who has used their favorite buzz buzz device before their morning alarm will know this statistic to be very true.

After all, by faking an orgasm we’re telling ourselves that a man’s pleasure is more important than our own, and in 2024 we can’t still think that, ladies.

So let me put it this way.

A footballer would never be offended by their coach giving them advice to improve their game. Guys on a golf course wouldn’t mind if Tiger Woods stopped by and gave them some tips to improve their swing.

So why should we be nervous about training them how to give us a big old O?

They are our bodies after all and we know them better than anyone else. So instead of expecting them to know what to do right away, let’s teach them.

Here is a world of more orgasms.